When many couples begin to consider adoption, they visualize bringing home an infant. At some point while waiting for an infant, some begin to think about adopting an older child. This is a decision requiring courage for both parents and child. There may be a birth child already in the family. In any event, older children come with unhappy or traumatic experiences that will have to be understood with love. It is a journey to be traveled, but will not always be an easy one.
There may be times when the new family will need outside assistance. Experienced, loving parents can be ashamed to admit that the relationship they have invested so much of themselves into just isn’t working as they visualized. That certainly isn’t unique to adoptive parents; natural parents have problems also. An outside observer and counselor can identify patterns and suggest solutions when the core family is just too close to the situation to see them. Some older children feel that the adoption process, while they wanted it, somehow just happened to them and they were never really given a chance to say, “Yes.”
Some older children have never had the chance to really bond with someone. The child is often both needy and independent as a result of not ‘belonging’ to anyone. The child may be fearful and stressed from unexpected causes; sleeping alone in a bedroom may be a brand new, somewhat scary experience. Yet the benefits of loving and being loved by this child will be incalculable. One adoptive parent said that she felt as though the child had always been her daughter and just needed to be found.
Since 1900, Deaconess Pregnancy and Adoption Services has been helping women dealing with unplanned pregnancies as well as forming new families joined in love. Located in Oklahoma City, this is the leading, care-oriented agency in the area, offering their services to Oklahomans and others. With well over 100 years of adoption experience, this agency also understands the needs of adoptees and birth parents; if the child wishes to reconnect with a birth parent in the future, the agency is able to facilitate this reunion if all parties wish it. Caring couples who are considering Adoption in Norman should contact this reputable adoption agency and attend one of their free information meetings on various adoption-related topics.